Choosing a first dance song you will actually enjoy

Length is the thing nobody plans for

Most first dance songs run four to five minutes. Danced alone, in front of everyone, that is a long time. Around two minutes before guests join you tends to feel right.

A track can be edited so it builds and lifts at the point you want the floor to fill. If your song has a slow first verse and a big chorus, the edit almost always improves the moment.

Pick something you like, not something expected

There is no requirement for a ballad. Couples have used indie tracks, rock songs, dance records and film scores. What matters is that you both like it enough to hear it every anniversary.

If the version you love is a live recording, an acoustic cover or an album cut, that is fine — it just needs sourcing in a usable quality in advance.

Decide how you want it introduced

• Full spotlight announcement, guests gathered round
• Low-key — music starts, no microphone
• Guests invited to join after the first chorus
• Straight into an upbeat track so the floor never empties

Plan the track that follows

The song immediately after your first dance decides whether the dancefloor fills or empties. It should be something the widest part of your guest list recognises within a few seconds.

Save the specialist choices for later in the night, once the floor is already busy.

What to send me, beyond the first dance

You do not need to hand over a finished playlist. Four things are enough to plan a full night around.

• Your first dance: the song, and whether you want it full length, shortened or lifted into something upbeat part-way through
• Around twenty must-plays — family favourites and the tracks that get a particular table up
• A do-not-play list: nothing on it gets played, whoever asks
• Two sentences on the room: ages, how much of a dancing crowd they are, anything that would land badly

Playlists, requests and how much to pick

A shared Spotify or Apple Music playlist is the easiest way to show what you like. It shapes the night rather than being played in order.

Twenty must-plays is plenty. Any more and there is no room left to read the room, which is the part that actually fills a dancefloor.

Guest requests are your call: welcomed, filtered through your do-not-play list, or switched off entirely.

Where all of this lives once you are booked

Booked couples get a private online planner, so songs can be added whenever they come to you rather than in one sitting. It also holds timings, speeches, venue notes and payment details.

• First dance choice, with the version and edit you want
• Must-play and do-not-play lists
• Spotify or Apple Music playlist links
• Songs for the cake cut, buffet and last dance
• Notes on which guests' requests to prioritise